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Black Father Gives Son The Talk About Holding Literally Any Object

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NORRISTOWN, PA—Deciding his firstborn was old enough to learn about the cultural dangers of having things in his hands, African American dad Aaron Mitchell pulled his son aside Thursday to have “the talk” about holding literally any object. “Listen, son, it’s time you learned how to conduct yourself in public. It may…

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yatesa01
16 days ago
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Andover, CT
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White Nationalist Movement: Myth Vs. Fact

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Over the past few years, the white nationalist movement in the U.S. has seen the addition of more members and received significant media coverage. The Onion debunks some common myths about white supremacism in America.


MYTH: The alt-right movement is secretly a neo-Nazi movement.

FACT: The alt-right movement is openly a neo-Nazi movement.


MYTH: White nationalist beliefs are mainstream now.

FACT: Noticing white nationalist beliefs is mainstream now.


MYTH: White supremacists hate people of color.

FACT: They’re not wild about women either.


MYTH: The movement’s goal is for whites to live separately in an ethno-state.

FACT: Idaho, Kentucky, Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire already exist.


MYTH: White supremacists value preserving culture above all else.

FACT: Skrewdriver should not be considered culture under even the most generous interpretations of the term.


MYTH: White nationalism is just a fringe political movement.

FACT: Let’s not waste our whole day dissecting the word “fringe,” okay?


MYTH: President Trump has explicitly endorsed white nationalists.

FACT: He doesn’t endorse white nationalists; he just hangs out with them every weekend and most weeknights and is one himself.


MYTH: White nationalists believe discrimination against white people is worse than discrimination against any other group.

FACT: Holy shit, yeah, that’s true. They honestly believe that.

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yatesa01
36 days ago
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Andover, CT
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73 days ago
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acdha
75 days ago
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“Not The Onion” is dead
Washington, DC

Paperclip Optimizers exploit glitches in The Matrix

jwz
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The Surprising Creativity of Digital Evolution:

The physics simulator first used a simple Euler method for numerical integration, which worked well for typical motion. However, with faster motion integration errors could accumulate, and some creatures learned to exploit that bug by quickly twitching small body parts. The result was the equivalent of obtaining "free energy," which propelled the opportunists at unrealistic speeds through the water.

Similarly, when evolving jumping abilities, the creatures found a bug in the code for collision detection and response. If the creatures hit themselves by contacting corners of two of their body parts together in a certain way, an error was triggered that popped them airborne like super-strong grasshoppers.

Tic-tac-toe Memory Bomb:

The project was a five-in-a-row Tic Tac Toe competition played on an infinitely large board. [...] Evolution discovered that making [a move very, very far away] right away lead to a lot of wins. The reason turned out to be that the other players dynamically expanded the board representation to include the location of the far-away move -- and crashed because they ran out of memory, forfeiting the match!

Creative Program Repair:

After several generations of evolution, suddenly and strangely, many perfectly fit solutions appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Upon manual inspection, these highly fit programs still were clearly broken. It turned out that one of the individuals had deleted all of the target files when it was run! With these files missing, because of how the test function was written, it awarded perfect fitness scores to the rogue candidate and to all of its peers.

Impossibly Compact Solutions:

The circuit had evolved to work only in the specific temperature conditions in the lab, and exploited manufacturing peculiarities of the particular FPGA chip used for evolution. Furthermore, when attempting to analyze the solution, Thompson disabled all circuit elements that were not part of the main powered circuit, assuming that disconnected elements would have no effect on behavior. However, he discovered that performance degraded after such pruning! Evolution had learned to leverage some type of subtle electromagnetic coupling, something a human designer would not have considered (or perhaps even have known how to leverage).

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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yatesa01
38 days ago
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DNA Analysis Reveals Famous Viking Warrior Was A Woman

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Who outside of Valhalla would have thought? Thanks, science.

Via National Geographic

More than a millennium ago in what’s now southeastern Sweden, a wealthy Viking warrior was laid to rest, in a resplendent grave filled with swords, arrowheads, and two sacrificed horses. The site reflected the ideal of Viking male warrior life, or so many archaeologists had thought.

New DNA analyses of the bones, however, confirm a revelatory find: the grave belonged to a woman.

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yatesa01
44 days ago
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Photographer Catches Trump's Notes on How to Appear Sympathetic to Mass Shooting Survivors

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As President Donald Trump met with survivors and others impacted by the spate of mass school shootings across the US at the White House on Wednesday, he held a cue card with notes on how to appear empathetic while proposing solutions like tightening the federal background check system, raising the age of firearms…

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yatesa01
61 days ago
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Florida State House Declares Porn Is Health Risk, Assault Weapons Totally Fine Though

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Legislators in Florida—where a gunman authorities later identified as Nikolas Cruz opened fire on the grounds of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Broward County, Florida, killing at least 17 last week—have apparently decided that the threat they need to focus on right now is pornography.

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yatesa01
61 days ago
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